Greetings!
I've not been posting much lately...and as shy as I am about discussing 'Babybat Blues' I figured people might like to read about it anyway, as outfit posts are practically gone...my camera is dead.
It's my 16th birthday coming up, and a few months till I'll be Goth for a full year (Oh my gawddd :P) and most people don't care about how I dress now.
But I was kind of annoyed the other day, as I had nothing else to wear so I pulled out an ancient blue shirt and mom and dad stared at me for a bit, then mom went raving on about how "You're wearing color, you look so pretty, blah" and as much as I suppose that's a basic comment every Goth gets if they wear color, it still was kind of irritating, and made me think of 'Just a phase' comments, and how my parents may now hope that I'll go sliding back to the silly teen who wore plaid flannel shirts and brown or blue jeans.
I'm aware that they're quite alright with my decisions, but it's difficult hearing such things non the less.
And also what's saddening is that my only friend I have (Yes for some random horrid reason I've had three friends leave me) is now avoiding me because of my 'looks'. <--She wants me to Scene my hair, wear skinny jeans and lighter makeup. 'And to lay off the black' <---UGH
We've known each other for years and for the sake of our friendship I've tried to wear color and untease my hair when I visit her, but her and her whole family keep looking at me like I'm some kind of a freak.
What's also disapointed me is that I don't think she'll come to my birthday party, as I think she's kind of nervous being around our house. As much as I try, my room is dark paradise with all the spiderwebs, Gothy pictures and dark colors. The coffins on the window don't help! <---As much as I would love to throw pink covers all over all the decor that's just not easily possible. :(
I would explain to her, but she's quite determined in her assumptions and as her family are church Christians (Not to mention her mom influences her SO much) they even think Halloween is 'The Devil's Day' or something like that.
Hey, I'm 'Christian' (<--Sort of, no church though.) but I hate being called that because it automatically stereotypes me...So if anyone asks I say 'I'm a missionary.'
Okay, well I'm awfully sorry for this complaining rant, but to be honest (Although I'm not inclined to ask for help) I could use some encouragement from you lovely bloggers...I really consider you guys my friends. :) And I know how all of these complaints are so so common among babybats, but that doesn't make it any easier.
And just for fun: About a week ago I couldn't resist the urge to go back and listen to some Emilie Autumn music, and to my surprise one week later I'm constantly listening to her music, ALL THE TIME, and completely loving it! I particularly like the Opheliac album, although I also like some of the Enchant and Fight like a Girl stuff.
Just thought you'd like to know of my 'conversion' xD as a few months ago I was saying how much I disliked EA's stuff. Not anymore! :D
Anyhow, could use encouragement atm.
Farewell!
Babybat's Blog: A blog of a 17 year old girl's babybat years as well as anything else I might include. Drop me a comment if you want something in particular!
8 comments:
I don't think it's bad that you complained about something like that. I would be devastated if a friend I've had for a long time suddenly wanted me to change and looked at me like a freak. That's terrible.
I hope your one year anniversary goes well! And everything else. :3
Hey hun,
To be honest I'm with Sary, that makes me really furious and I can understand 100% why you're upset about that. In fact I think you're handling it very well by catering to your 'friend's preferences as much as you have.
Stay strong, be you, meet some people who are less judgemental. <3
I'm sure there are plenty of others out there that would be completely willing to be your friend without telling you to change. If your friend is willing to throw away years of friendship over something as superficial as how you dress, then maybe that friendship wasn't worth it to begin with. When I started to dress Goth, there were a few people who just stopped talking to me, but I made new friends. It happens to most, but this is a good test of seeing who your true friends really are.
I've had this same problem for far far to long. I lost a lot of friends when I started dressing like, well, 'me'. I say, screw them! If they don't accept you as the you you've always been, just now on the outside as well, then they truly aren't your friend. You'll find people who truly accept you. Friends would not want to change you. <3
To be honest, a lot of my real life friends are leaving me because they are going to new school or moving away (and don't really want to continue contact) or they are just plain giving bullshit on a daily basis. I can't really say that I have any solid friends, except that I'm starting a friendship with some adults I know. In time you will find out who your real friends are, and while loneliness DOES SUCK BIG TIME (and isn't healthy for the human brain), at least you aren't hanging around someone who wants you to be someone else.
You have, by all means, the right to complain about this! I sound like I'm copying off of Amy and Sary, but it really sucks that this is happening to you, especially near your birthday. By the way, happy birthday and "anniversary" :-)
Thanks guys, your advice is really very helpful.
I guess I'll just leave my friend alone and if she decides to keep avoiding me, I'll be okay. :(
But I'll very happy to know I have you guys as my friends, thank you SO much! <3
You don't need people like that.
Trust me, you'll be better off without these kinds of people - be who you want to be!
Since when did Goths care about what others thought about them? ;D
I know right? Haha.
But a few weeks ago she invited me to go ice skating and didn't seem too preturbed about anything...
I'm happy for at least slight acknowledgement.
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