Babybat Blues

Ah hello my dear readers!
It cheered me immensly to see that I have 7 followers and that people are actually reading and liking this humble blog. So in spite of my vastly unorginised self, I decided that a little post would be in order.

*Note: Will contain ramblings, Baby bat miseries, and silly happiness*

I'm still in a great deal of shock and misery as two of my carefully cultivated 1 cm long nails broke. I can't believe how horrid I feel about it, I mean, they're just nails but I feel like part of my hand has been amputated.

But anyhow, today was mostly nice as I found some charming black sheets in the store and 2 cute little coffee mugs with polka dots and stripes on them.

Oh and the best part...I found a darling little mini top hat in the shop for only $3! It's obviously quite cheap but I think it'll last me awhile.

------------------------

Time for the 'Babybat Blues':

I had to wear really casual clothes today, aka (Black tracksuit pants, random hoodie and tennis shoes) awful I know.

I know some Goths probably have to wear such clothes occasionally and they're totally alright with it, but I felt exceedingly shy and like I wasn't fit to be out in public.

Maybe it's just a babybat thing but I feel smart and well dressed only when I'm out head to toe in lace, sweeping skirts and stripy socks. Not to mention an elaborate hairdo. As much as I would like to dress this way 24/7, I am finding out that it can be rather time consuming and as my part time job of delivering catalogues requires casual wear (Not even all black, as some people are apparently disturbed by such things) I have to dress down in the lowest forms.

To make matters even more complex, I keep hearing about how Goths shouldn't make a big deal of what they're dressed in, for example...you should never think: "I'm not walking the dog dressed like that, it isn't Goth" and other such comments.

I know that's true and all but what do you have to say about it? Do you feel better only when you're dressed your best, whatever you're doing?

I feel like I could drop dead if I was wearing a baby blue shirt, even if I did wear black everything else. Sure I do wear plenty of color, jewel tones...but I feel sick when my family tries to cajole me into wearing that 'elegant brown skirt and flowered top'.

To be honest though, I still feel really inferior, and sometimes I feel mallgothy even though I'm fairly sure I am not. When I see another Goth on the street I feel massively embarassed and in my mind I'm comparing of how good their outfit is, and how Mallgoth/Ungoth I look.

Thank God I am slowly getting over that. Anyhow. I am sorry for this depressive talk. I suppose the only use for it is to tell those who read it to not follow my terrible example of comparing and self put down.

-----

An amusing thing that's happened recently:

-I've earned the nickname 'Dracula' because of how I coat myself in half a bottle of sunscreen every day and hide in my dark room, complaining if someone opens the curtains that it's 'too bright'. Yes it's foolish, but living in a basement for six months does that to you. Yes, you officially hate the sun.

-People have been giving me weird looks when I talk, as instead of using excessive slang and quick speech...it looks like all the classical fiction I've been reading lately has gone to my head, as when I write or speak, (Even when I try hard not to) I tend to speak slowly and use big abnormal words that come from my daily readings of my thesaurus. (Yes, go on. Look how weird I am :), I read thesauruses and dictionaries/encyclopedias for fun). Of course, this doesn't happen ALL the time, just a lot...

--Ah! Enough talk, time for some pictures....!!!!!  :D

My two cutesy coffee cups!

The mini hat :)

Me wearing the hat

Yes, that's how I always smile...I'm just a little tired here.

Just for fun: Me at 13, look how horribly I'm dressed and my yucky tan. (By the way, I did cook that raisin bread myself...I'm not that bad at cooking...

A more recent picture, showing how the tan is GONE, yay thanks to my dark room.

Thanks for reading this ramble of mine, I hope you enjoyed!